A regret: things I should have done

Yesterday I went to the Caernarfon Food Fayre. Before I set off I wrote about my feelings, trepidations, and how I hoped to cope. Unfortunately, and I guess this is an ‘aside’ regret, I didn’t post on this site. I was on my Facebook page – ASD and beyond – and only posted there. So, apologies.

What I did, what I should have done

The Food Fayre was amazing and I surprised even myself in the way I handled it. Sure, I got angry with the people who barged past (despite my walking with a stick) and especially with a woman who managed to knock against the whole of my right arm (yep, the one in which I hold my stick). But what was incredible was that previously I would gone into a full meltdown – tearful, verbally loud, demanding that we get out. My husband was also amazing, asking where I’d like to go, steering me towards quieter places, and being totally patient.

So, my regret? We were at a stall looking at the foodstuffs – handmade confectionery, real Turkish Delight in all colours and flavours, and olives. Wow, those olives. I turned to leave and a young lad was behind waiting to get to the stall. He saw my stick, stepped back and said ‘sorry’. Brilliant understanding and compassion about a sudden situation. But his mother wasn’t happy about this. She pushed him forward with the words ‘Go and say what you want.’ I felt for the lad. But I did nothing and said nothing. I smiled my thanks and I hope that was enough.

I truly hope my smile said what I couldn’t.

Being creative is the mainstay of my life, and poetry, prose, and photography is where I express my deepest emotions. I also enjoy the challenge of design and create jewellery, fabric bags, and garments and home items in yarn. Diagnosed with ASD at the age of 68 after fifty years in and out of the mental health system, I now aim to explore and share my experiences over these years. Apart from blogs and short articles I'll share my life in my verse and images.

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