A regret: things I should have done

Yesterday I went to the Caernarfon Food Fayre. Before I set off I wrote about my feelings, trepidations, and how I hoped to cope. Unfortunately, and I guess this is an ‘aside’ regret, I didn’t post on this site. I was on my Facebook page – ASD and beyond – and only posted there. So, apologies.

What I did, what I should have done

The Food Fayre was amazing and I surprised even myself in the way I handled it. Sure, I got angry with the people who barged past (despite my walking with a stick) and especially with a woman who managed to knock against the whole of my right arm (yep, the one in which I hold my stick). But what was incredible was that previously I would gone into a full meltdown – tearful, verbally loud, demanding that we get out. My husband was also amazing, asking where I’d like to go, steering me towards quieter places, and being totally patient.

So, my regret? We were at a stall looking at the foodstuffs – handmade confectionery, real Turkish Delight in all colours and flavours, and olives. Wow, those olives. I turned to leave and a young lad was behind waiting to get to the stall. He saw my stick, stepped back and said ‘sorry’. Brilliant understanding and compassion about a sudden situation. But his mother wasn’t happy about this. She pushed him forward with the words ‘Go and say what you want.’ I felt for the lad. But I did nothing and said nothing. I smiled my thanks and I hope that was enough.

I truly hope my smile said what I couldn’t.

Published by Marilyn

Diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder after fifty years in the mental health system I decided to share my experiences and consider the impact my health has had on my well-being. Being creative is the mainstay of my life and it's how I express my deepest emotions. Photography, writing, and design challenge me and help keep me rooted in the present.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: