In the land of Assu there lived an incredibly smart ruler who was loved by his people.
This ruler was blessed with very special powers. His ears had magic filters so that everything he heard was pleasing to him, and when these filters malfunctioned due to overload his mouth could shout a special mantra, ekaf swen, ekaf swen, and he was loved again. This was a good thing.
Being so incredibly smart this ruler did not need anyone else to think for him, so he decided to do all the thinking so that everyone around him was free to spend their days loving him. He was also an unbelievably kind ruler and did not like to see people suffer. If anyone near him malfunctioned and started to think, he would send them off to rest and be happy. This was a very good thing.
Because this ruler was so incredibly smart, he had lots of money. And because he was unbelievably kind, he liked to give it away. He offered lots of money in exchange for things that other rulers did not know what to do with, like land. The incredibly smart ruler knew an amazing amount about land and wanted to make the most from it to help the planet. These rulers in other lands were not as incredibly smart as this ruler and this caused him great pain and sadness. He tried to send them advice but they could not decipher his wise words. This was not a good thing.
So he went into his fortress and built the walls higher and pulled up the drawbridges. He knew that the other rulers needed time to decipher his wisdom so that they too could understand how to protect and save the planet. He knew he had lots of time to wait because his people loved him and wanted him near them. This was a good thing.
He knew it would take time because some rulers were stupid and some just wanted him as a friend and others thought they were more powerful. And only he knew the truth because only he was so incredibly smart.
Ekaf swen, Ekaf swen.