I’ve just come to after a deep, impenetrable sleep. Almost three hours of shutdown as my head recharged itself. Previous to that had been three hours of cold that nipped at my core, of weariness that sapped my lifeblood, of numbness than silenced me.
What goes on in my head at these times?
All I am left with is my silent scream.
Piecing together the minutiae of my sanity.
Just as surely as day follows night I am now back and functioning.
Having lost most of my day – it is now 17:30 – I must focus on what needs to be achieved and not on what has not. That would be counter-productive to say the least. And so I revisit my ‘Daily Habits’ chart to check out what I had hoped to do today. To many that may seem a faff – to me it is a life-line.
At this stage my priority is to write, to be creative, and in doing so move on. The practical stuff can wait. Laundry will still be there tomorrow. That web in the corner … well it is a home for another creature. The dust bunnies on the carpet won’t reproduce in the small hours. Unlike rabbits. We’ll all be as we were … except I’ll be back where I want to be, raring to get on.
A final word on my posts. All the images I include are my own, except on the very rare occasion when I have used a photograph taken by my husband. It is important to me as only my images are central to who I am. Only they can reflect the essence of where I have been, how far I’ve come; the trauma, the terror, the tranquility.
Thank you for reading my post. I hope that it explains, and more importantly helps any of you who may experience shutdown or social overload in a similar way.
marilyn unmasked 