Social Overload – Shutdown – but the end does come. Eventually.

I’ve just come to after a deep, impenetrable sleep. Almost three hours of shutdown as my head recharged itself. Previous to that had been three hours of cold that nipped at my core, of weariness that sapped my lifeblood, of numbness than silenced me. What goes on in my head at these times? Just asContinue reading “Social Overload – Shutdown – but the end does come. Eventually.”

After the Visit: my poem about Social Overload

Note about the poem: • it was written when I was an in-patient on an Acute Ward at the local Mental Hospital; I can’t recall now whether it was written after an actual visit – I suspect it was – nor who had visited • the dichotomy I had – always have – is thatContinue reading “After the Visit: my poem about Social Overload”

Reasons to go on: Poems, part 5

Reason to go on: Survival Reaching out Reaching out into the darkness I catch at emptiness. Feelings cannot penetrate the armour plating of my thoughts. SecretsShh! Don’t breathe a word – not a syllable to a soul, share my secret, take my burden as your own.Shh! Listen to me – not a word to passContinue reading “Reasons to go on: Poems, part 5”

Reasons to go on: Poems, part 4

Reason to go on: Bloody-mindedness In sickness A pail of depression; A fist of anger; A sweated brow of anxiety; A deep well of despair; A flight of fear; Simmer together for 50 years. Drink the evil broth. The show must go onJust one cut, then another, slice through skin smooth and thin;blade drawing criss-cross,Continue reading “Reasons to go on: Poems, part 4”

Reasons to go on: Poems, part 2

Reason to go on: External Pressures Conformist I do not look as you look: burn out my eyes, make them mirrors. I do not feel as you feel: unpeel my skin; cement with stones. I do not think as you think: pluck out my mind; integrate with circuits. Mirrors, stones, and circuits feel no pain.Continue reading “Reasons to go on: Poems, part 2”

When the struggle is brushing unbearable, part 2

Reason to go on: External Pressures Urged by family and school I applied for a place at Uni and even my psychiatrist thought university would ‘do me good’. One day I was on a hospital ward in Essex, the next I was being driven to the digs in Glasgow someone had arranged for me.Two moreContinue reading “When the struggle is brushing unbearable, part 2”